this is a rough draft of a cover letter i did for a secretary type position at a financial firm. I really have no idea what i’m doing. its been so long since i applied for a job! I would love suggestions. thanks!
Dear Mr. ****,
I am writing in response to the clerical position posted in the Bay City Times on August 6th. Currently, I have worked as a professional nanny for over four years with the same family.
Although I have enjoyed this type of work, I am looking to broaden my horizons.
As you can see from my resume I have a very steady job record, and to my beliefs, have the right skills to fill the position in which I am seeking. I have a very positive work ethic, great communication and people skills, and am proficient in typing and all of the major computer programs such as: Microsoft word, data base, outlook, and speadsheets.
Currently I am enrolled part time at Delta College majoring in Small Business Management and working on my real estate exam.
I would be very enthused to be invited for an interview with you or one of your associates. I can be reached by phone (*********, or by email
Eric
Tags: Delta College, Positive Work Ethic, Small Business Management
Jeff
I don’t thinkl that I would indicate that you were a nanny for four years in the opening paragraph since you are not looking for a nanny job. You also indicate that you are working on a real estate exam which would let a company believe that you will leave them as soon as you get the license. Now if this was a real estate office that would be another story. Major in small business management is a good point. It indicates that you would like to move up in the company. Don’t forget a company wants to know how you can help them. They are not in the business to help you.
Marcus
Too many I’s. Especially in the first paragraph.
“This is a response to the clerical position…”
Rid the letter of “As you can see” and “broaden my horizons” and “to my beliefs” because they may ‘not see’ or ‘not care’ about your horizons and your beliefs. They want a clerk. Plain and simple. This cover letter suggests you don’t want to be a clerk and that may be the case. But if you need the money then tell them what they want to hear not what you want to tell them.
“My computer experience includes MS Word, Excel, Outlook and I type well” Limit what skills are relevant to being a clerk. Database is doubtful so leave it off.
The second paragraph you can use a couple I’s. “I work well with others”
Leave your major and the RE exam off. Let them ask you about it if they care.
Just a rough and dirty response. I could go on.
Carolyn
Be more confident and say that you do have the skills, not that you believe that you do. The company already knows you are seeking a position, make it more personal by saying, “to fill position.” it seems like you are making that cover letter ready to be copied over and over again. Try combining the two sentences that start with “Currently…” It good that you didn’t start too many sentences with “I”s. Here’s what I recommend:
“In response to your opening I would like to express my interest working for your Company. I recently became aware of your opening in the . Currently I am part time student at Delta College, majoring in Small Business Management and striving to take my real estate exam.
From my attached resume, you will see that I have the right skills to fill your position. I have a very positive work ethic and am great with people. Of all my skills, I am strongest in communication, typing and am proficient utilizing all Microsoft programs. I believe that I would be of much use to your company.
I would like to meet with you at your convenience to discuss the possibility of joining your company. Please feel free to contact me at any time to set up a meeting.
Sincerely,”
Good Luck!!!!!!!!